Am I Not Wonderful? Or the Agony of Blurbing Your Own Book

So, after three years of slavish labor, we have arrived at the moment where the book is at the printer, and the printer is sending me messages that say, in essence, approve the goddamn proof already, and I am stuck on the back cover, where the book description and the bio are supposed to go. It is surprisingly difficult to sing your praises on the cover of your own book, even one that you have worked on as hard as I've worked on this one. In fact, it was my designer who insisted that we make the byline on the front cover so huge that you can probably see it from outer space. I'm still freaked out about that. My attempts at a bio have been going up on Facebook for review, and my friends have offered some helpful feedback. Here's the back cover copy as it now stands, starting with the book description (the bio follows):

A mysterious illness is the catalyst for this story about a daughter’s homecoming, the second installment of a family saga that takes place on three continents. The year is 2007, and the Texiers—Patrick, Sara, and nineteen-year-old Thomas—have left their home in Tanzania. They are biding their time in a New Jersey suburb, pondering their next move, when a family crisis spurs them to action. Idora Tucker, Sara’s mother, is suddenly unable to live alone. Something is very wrong, and nobody on her rapidly expanding medical team can figure it out. Within weeks, Sara has moved back into her childhood bedroom, Thomas has enrolled at a school in Prague, and Patrick has become the only French safari guide in recent memory to take up residence in Randolph, Vermont. In picking up where Our House in Arusha left off, An Irruption of Owls views from the perspective of small-town New England the forces that shape our lives.

Sara Tucker has written headlines for the Louisville Courier Journal, reviewed local theater for the Albuquerque Journal, and edited articles about dusting for Martha Stewart Living. Everything she knows about winching she learned from the editor of Four-Wheeler magazine. At Condé Nast Traveler, she once played a singing reindeer in an office skit. At Cosmopolitan, she ran the copy department under Helen Gurley Brown. She pays taxes in Vermont, rides the New York City subway to work 150 times a year, and plays mahjong once a month in Fontainebleau, France. An Irruption of Owls is her second book.